


This Dance Is Familiar

by Jennifer_Collins



Category: Avengers (Comics), Black Widow (Comics), Iron Man (Comics), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Black Widow - Freeform, F/M, Flirting, Iron Widow - Freeform, IronWidow - Freeform, Longing, Making Out, Old Flames, Past Relationships, Protective Tony, Sexual Content, Tonynat, light buckynat, light iron wasp, past clintasha, web of black widow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:34:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26146492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jennifer_Collins/pseuds/Jennifer_Collins
Summary: Tony gave Natasha her memories back and now some old flames want to re-ignite.
Relationships: Natasha Romanov & Tony Stark, Natasha Romanov/Tony Stark, Tony Stark/Natasha Romanov
Comments: 14
Kudos: 63





	1. Chapter 1

Her eyelids slowly fluttered open, a million fragmented images floating around in her consciousness, some of them growing in intensity as they reached the surface of her mind. 

Somewhere in the distance, she heard the sound of a scream and she recognized it as her own, though she was unsure if the screaming was coming from inside her head or vibrating in her throat. 

“Easy, Tasha,” a familiar voice called and her eyes shot open, her body tensed and she rose up all at once when she felt a firm and steady hand on her shoulder. 

“You’re okay,” he murmured. “You’re in my lab, you’re safe. It’s okay.” 

“Tony?” She felt herself rasp as the room came into focus and she slowly pulled the electrodes from her temples. 

The weight of her memories crashed through her with a force that didn’t match up to anything in her prior life experience and she suddenly realized her arms were shaking as she gripped the padded table she’d been lying on. 

A single tear slipped down her cheek as she stretched her upper body, her arms encircling around the first tangible thing she could find to ground herself to the present and she felt a pair of strong, muscular arms enclose around her. 

“Just relax,” he said softly into her ear as he crushed her against his chest. “It’s normal to feel disoriented after the process.” 

As if he’d done this before. She resisted the urge to snort as she became more aware of what had just happened. The battle with Anya, her past coming back to haunt her for the bazillionth time, her friends helping her, and….. Tony.

Tony providing a calm, listening ear during a rare moment of vulnerability. Tony guiding her through the plan they’d developed together and standing alongside her as she called the Avengers into action. Tony being honest with her. Tony giving her memories back.

“Right now you’re remembering everything, all at once,” he murmured. “Just try to pick something to focus on until the initial wave passes. Concentrate on the sound of my voice. It’s ok.” 

“How long have I been out?” 

“Three hours,” he answered, still holding her tight. “It took a little longer than I’d originally thought to get it started, but it all went smoothly once it took, I promise,” he said. He started to explain in full detail what he’d done to her, but she tuned him out. 

She’d heard this before and right now she just wanted to listen to the gentle inflections of his voice, hold onto him until she felt like she could stand on her own, feel something familiar that wouldn’t act as if it was trying to destroy her. 

Three hours. He was droning on and on in scientific terms, defending why it had taken so long and yet here she was, marveling at the fact that it had only taken three hours for her genius friend to restore months of lost and broken memories and give her the missing part of her life back. 

She buried her face in his chest, letting his words wash over her, feeling his arms tighten instinctively around her as she relaxed into him. 

"You’re okay, Tasha,” he murmured again, the fingers of one hand gently stroking through the length of her ponytail while his other hand pressed comfortably against her back. “It’s okay. I got you.”

She sighed softly. “I know,” she told him gratefully. 

“How do you feel?” He whispered, his lips close to her ear, his breath warm on her neck. 

She shivered, although the heat from his body was radiating through the thin fabric of his undershirt. Her arms tightened around his neck and she suddenly realized how little clothing she was still wearing, just a black cotton sports bra and boyshort panties. 

“Tony,” she breathed as she raised her head to look at him, his face close to hers, his blue eyes soft and tender on hers. 

“There you are. What are you doing down here? Oh! Hey, Nat.” 

She startled, pulling herself from his grasp as she turned her attention to the now open door. “Hello, Janet,” she said, taking in the appearance of their sometimes fellow Avenger in all her short-brown haired glory as she stood near the entrance of the workshop with her hands on her hips. 

“Jan!” Tony exclaimed, his voice taking on an equal note of surprise. 

The shorter woman smiled warmly at them. “Tony told me about the procedure. How are you doing?” 

Natasha could only nod, unsure of how to answer the question. 

Jan walked over and nudged Tony. “Come on, sweetie. We’re going to be late for dinner if you don’t hurry up and get dressed.” 

She leaned up on her tiptoes and kissed him once, twice, then more deeply and Natasha looked away. 

“Sure thing,” he said, turning back to Natasha once they’d broken apart. Before she could even register what was happening, he’d scooped her up into his arms. “As soon as I get Nat here settled in her old room.” 

Natasha kicked her feet lightly but she was still a little too disoriented to really protest, so she just enclosed her arms around his neck. 

“You take care, Nat,” Jan said with a little wave as Tony carried her off. 

“You messed with my head, not my legs,” she said teasingly once they were in the hall. “I can walk just fine, you know.” 

“Well, you are still recovering from an arrow to the side,” he said in a tone that made it very clear that he was not letting go. 

She sighed. “It’s a long walk to my apartment from here…” 

“Come on, Nat,” he said, pressing the button to call the elevator. “There’s no one around. Just stay here tonight, yeah?” 

She pressed her lips together. 

“Come on. Just…. just humor an old friend.” 

She gazed at him, her green eyes locking onto his blue ones and holding them for a moment before she nodded silently. 

The elevator dinged as it stopped on the fourth floor and Tony carried her easily down the hall to the room she’d sometimes stayed in the old days. 

He set her carefully down on the bed, lingering in front of her with a brilliant smile as he brushed her bangs out of her eyes. “Resilient. That’s what you are.” 

She offered him a small smile in return. 

“Hold on.” He turned and bounded out of the room.

Puzzled, she frowned for a moment until he returned and tossed something to her. 

“I don’t know what kind of clothes you still have here, if any. You can wear that if you need something to sleep in. “ 

She wrinkled her nose, unfolding the fabric slowly, not wanting to have to say to him out loud how she didn’t really want to wear Jan’s clothing. Then her eyes widened when she realized it was one of his t-shirts, black cotton with a brand logo on it. 

She pulled it on over her head, grateful to have something to cover up so he didn’t have to keep looking at her in her underwear. 

“Of course, if you decide to stay longer, we can always figure something else out….” 

“Tony.” She stopped. She was well aware of his protective nature and the fact that he had a constant urge to want to keep his people close and she supposed that right at this moment she should just consider herself lucky that he counted her as his people again. She would deal with everything else when the time came. 

“I really am glad that you decided to trust the Avengers, Nat,” he said softly. Then more quietly, “that you decided to trust me.” 

She looked up at him, her eyes wide. “You trusted me too.” 

“I’ve trusted you for a long time now, Tasha.” His voice was almost a whisper and for a second, she didn’t know what to say. 

“You’d better get going,” she said after a long moment. “You don’t want to miss dinner.” 

“Right.” 

“So… you and Janet. I didn’t realize that was still a thing,” she said, scooting back onto her bed. 

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, it’s… awhile now.” 

“Oh.” 

“You know, I don’t have to go out tonight. I could stay here, keep an eye on you.” 

She smiled. “I’ll be fine, Tony.” 

“Alright, but still. If you don’t feel well, you call my cell, okay?” 

She rolled her eyes. 

“I don’t suppose you’d let me help change your bandage before I go?” 

“No.” 

“Ok. I mean it though, Tasha. If you need anything….” 

“You’ve already done everything, Tony,” she said quietly. “Besides, you’ll only be gone for what, a couple of hours?” 

“And you’ll be here when I get back?” 

She nodded. “Maybe it’s a good idea to hide out here for a bit after all.” 

He frowned. “From what?” 

“You’ll see. Goodnight, Tony. Enjoy your dinner.” 

“’Night, Tasha.”


	2. Chapter 2

It wasn’t even thirty minutes after Tony and Jan had left the mansion to go to dinner that Natasha received a text on her phone. You up for some company?

She chewed her bottom lip, debating on whether or not to answer for a moment before typing a hesitant reply. Sure. Where do you want to meet?

The doorbell rang downstairs and she stiffened, staring straight out of the open door that led from her room to the hallway as if that was where the sound was coming from. She blinked a few times, blew her bangs out of her face and headed for the elevator. 

The mansion was eerily quiet as she made her way through the foyer. She tried to think of when was the last time she’d been here alone with no one home, but her recently restored memories came up empty. 

She shrugged off the odd feeling, reached to open the door, still wearing Tony’s t-shirt and a pair of red plaid pajama pants. 

“James,” She greeted him with half a smile. “That was quick.” 

He grinned back. “I know how disappointed you get when you have to wait.” 

She moved aside so he could step in, her eyes sweeping over the outside exterior more out of habit than anything else before closing the door. “I suppose you’d know that better than anyone.” She led him to the common area, tilted her head to look up at him and found him studying her carefully. 

“So it’s James now. Not Bucky?” He asked. His tone gave away nothing, though she’d been close enough to him throughout the years to know that his question was hopeful.

“I don’t know. It’s hard to keep up. Are you going by Bucky these days?” Their banter was familiar and his presence wasn’t totally unwelcome, but she wasn’t planning on making any of this easy on him. 

“Nat.” He folded his arms across his chest, and she marveled at the bulge of bicep of his left arm, meant to mimic human muscle. The metallic forearm peeking out from his rolled up sleeve and the artificial light reflecting off of it was the only clue to the prosthetic. Another one of Stark’s miraculous upgrades. 

She turned her eyes to meet his. “I thought you’d be half way out of the country by now.” 

“I could say the same to you. I guess Stark finally convinced you to take some time off after all.” 

She waved him off with a flick of her wrist. “We all know how persuasive he can be.” 

He nodded. “It probably doesn’t hurt to be around someone who knows what it’s like to suddenly come back from the dead, either.” 

“Do you mean Iron Man, or someone else?” 

He shrugged. “Are we going to talk about this?” 

She swallowed hard, avoiding his gaze. 

“I guess that’s my answer,” he said softly. 

“I can’t….” She started, her voice barely above a whisper. “I just got all my memories back. I can’t do this right now.” 

“So you do remember everything?” 

She nodded slowly, fidgeting with the hem of Tony’s t-shirt. “I remember…. everything.” 

He pressed his lips together and took a step closer, not even bothering to hide his concern anymore. “You need time, I get it. Just… be careful. The things we’ve gone through… people like… us? It can be enough to drive you crazy, all those things coming back, all at once. Don’t let it haunt you.” 

“You would know that too,” she said quietly, finally meeting his gaze. 

“Just… no matter what else we were, or…. Look, we’re friends now, right?” 

She nodded again, her eyes wide and cautious. 

“So, you know. Anything you need, I’m right here. You know how to find me.” 

“Thank you,” she whispered. 

“Maybe… maybe Stark’s right. You should take some time off. Let him spoil you here for awhile.” 

“Yeah… maybe.” She nudged his shin lightly with her foot. “So did you tell anyone else I was here?” 

“What do you think?” 

She smiled. “Good.” She nodded over her shoulder to the kitchen. “Come on. I’ll make some coffee. That is, if you can stay for a bit.” 

He smiled back gratefully and followed behind her. “Yeah. Yeah, I can stay for a bit.” 

She gestured for him to sit at the wooden table, turned her back to him as she made herself busy at the counter, knowing full well that he wouldn’t miss the silent message in her gesture.

“So. Are you home alone? Where’re all the Avengers? Where is your gracious host?” 

“He’s on a date. With Janet.” She set two mugs on the table, raising an eyebrow as she sat across from him. 

“Stark and van Dyne, huh? I didn’t know that was still a thing.” 

“Me neither.” She looked down at her hands for a moment. “Do you know what else is still a thing?” 

He gazed at her quizzically. 

She grinned, launching into gossip about the other team members based on observations she’d made during the past few weeks since she’d been back in regular contact. 

He laughed, occasionally running his metal fingers through his long brown curls and she soon found that she was glad for the distraction. 

“Seriously. It was nice to work together again,” he said carefully after awhile. 

“Um, it was seriously nice,” she agreed. 

“I didn’t mean to shut you out,” he said quietly. 

She gulped down the last of her coffee so she wouldn’t have to speak for a minute, still not feeling quite ready to have this conversation yet. “I suppose I know why you did what you did,” she said after awhile. 

He placed a hand over hers, looked at her until she would look at him. “I know you can’t do this now. But do you think…. Do you think we’ll ever be okay again?” 

“James,” she said softly, savoring the way his name felt on her lips paired with the knowledge she now had. “We already are.” 

“I don’t deserve you.” 

She let out a soft sigh. “You’ve said that before. And you know that statement will never be true.” She eased her hand away from him and was grateful that he seemed to take the hint when he straightened up. 

“I guess I should get going,” he said. 

“Okay.” 

“Unless you want me to hang around until Stark gets back.” 

“No. It’s okay. I’ll be fine.” 

She rose up from the table with him, reaching out for a hug. 

He eagerly pulled her into his arms, squeezing her briefly. “Do you need me to do anything for you before I go?” 

She thought for a moment. “Actually… there is one thing.” 

“What’s that?” 

“Can you go to my apartment and get Liho for me? Since I’m going to be staying here for awhile and all.” 

He smiled. “Yeah, I can do that. I’ll bring her by tomorrow.” 

XXXXX

“Nat?” A soft voice whispered. 

She blinked against the sudden sliver of light coming from her doorway. A quick glance at the digital clock showed her that it was after eleven. 

“Sorry. I didn’t want to disturb you.” 

"Mmmm…… you’re supposed to be a genius. You should know better than to wake a sleeping assassin,” she mumbled, motioning for him to come in. 

“Don’t shoot,” Tony said jokingly, holding his hands up as he entered her space.

“S’ok. I’m unarmed. Mostly.”

He crouched down at her bedside, reaching out and placing a tender hand on her forehead, gently brushing her hair back. “I just wanted to check in on you before I went to bed,” he explained with a soft smile, his blue eyes shining in the darkness. 

She propped herself up and slid over, making room for him to sit beside her and he took her invitation. 

“How are you doing?” 

“I’m fine.” 

“No pain? Any headaches?” 

“I can’t promise that there’s no pain now that you’ve given the missing memories back, but no, I haven’t experienced any headaches,” she said lightly, twisting the blankets around her wrist. 

“How about your wound?” He asked, gesturing with his chin to her side. “Need me to give you any painkillers?” 

“Nah.” She looked up at him. “I know it’s a new body and all, but I guess it feels more like mine with an injury.” 

“Well, new or not. Believe me. It’s your body,” he said. 

She tilted her head to the side. “Tony. Was it strange… for you?” 

“Sweetheart. It’s always strange for me.” 

She smiled slowly, the corners of her mouth tugging upwards. 

He smiled back, a billion dollar smile that was so familiar, it shone straight through her heart and made her feel a little more like she was home.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning Natasha decided that she’d better check out the situation in her closet after all if she was planning on staying here for any length of time. While the personal belongings that she’d left behind were sparse, she did manage to find a pair of tight hip-hugger jeans and a green cropped sweater. She smiled wistfully to herself as she brushed out her long hair, thinking that the last time she’d spent any real amount of time at the mansion had been the last time this outfit was in style. 

The house was still eerily quiet as she made her way to the kitchen and her mind recalled an age when fellow Avengers and sometimes their families had filled every crevice. 

She rummaged around in the cabinets and fridge, finding it wasn’t that hard to remember where things were kept after all as she gathered ingredients for pancakes and eggs. If there was one room in the whole house that always remained well-stocked, it was for sure the kitchen and she knew she could get fancy with fruit and cream as she started to pour the batter into a pan. 

“You’re up early,” a voice said from the door frame. 

“Not early enough to surprise you with a warm meal, apparently,” she retorted. 

He came up beside her, opening a cabinet. “I know it’s been awhile since you’ve been around, but I’m usually the one who cooks breakfast.” 

“Except for today,” Natasha said, swatting his hands away. 

“Fine. We’ll do it together then. What are we having?” 

“Your favorite,” she said with a grin, playfully pushing him against the counter. “And you don’t even have to lift a finger. Making you breakfast for once is the least I can do to thank you for taking such good care of me.” 

“You already said thank you. That’s more than enough,” Tony protested, gripping both of her arms in his hands and wiggling a little to break free of her grasp. 

She looked up at him to find his sparkling blue eyes boring into hers and even though they held an air of protective superiority that was bordering on obnoxious, there was something tender in them and it warmed her on the inside. This dance was familiar. 

“Come on.” Natasha gestured to a chair, half-wondering what it would take to make him sit in it while her actions remained playful. “Let me do this for you.”

After a few teasing jabs to her waist he finally conceded, raising his hands in surrender for a moment before crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned against the counter to watch her. 

She grabbed a spatula to flip the pancakes, being careful not to spill the cream she’d folded into the center of the dough. Truth be told, she was happy to have a task to be focusing on, and she really wanted to do something special for Tony, no matter how small. After a lifetime of debts, I-owe-you’s and scorecards kept amongst her friends and team mates, this was different. This was easy. 

“I admit, I may be going a little overboard,” she said out loud, popping some bread in the toaster. “I wasn’t sure how much to make and who would be around today.” 

He shrugged. “Just us.” 

“Yeah, about that…” she turned around to face him. “I know my visits have been few and far between lately, but as I recall the mansion is usually a little more… lively? Like at all times of the day?” 

He gazed at her carefully, clearly hesitant. 

"What’s going on, Tony?” 

“I may have…. hinted to the others to make themselves scarce for a little bit,” he admitted. 

“Why’s that?” She asked, just as cautiously, her heart skipping a beat. 

“I wanted you close, while you’re recovering from… everything. This way I could keep an eye on you, make sure you’re okay,” he said quietly. “I know you well enough to know that you’d need your privacy.” 

Her expression softened and she nodded slowly, a wistful longing tugging at her from somewhere deep inside. 

He was still staring at her, his eyes locked on hers and she jumped when the toast popped up from the toaster. “Or maybe you just wanted me all to yourself,” she joked in an attempt to lighten the sudden tension between them. 

“Maybe.” 

She pushed her hair behind her ear, turning around to start on the eggs while she digested the flirtatious smile that had appeared across his lips. Nothing new, and she could either play into the familiar routine or just casually brush it off and it would surpass on its own. He would be fine either way, and it wouldn’t change the comfortable comraderie they’d kept between them for quite a number of years now.

Still, Natasha knew this dance too, though it had been a long time since she’d laced up her shoes.

She stretched her torso, standing on her tiptoes as she reached into a cabinet above her head for a mixing bowl, the hem of her cropped sweater inching up to give him a quick peek at her tummy. A cheap shot for her to take, but it served its purpose as she caught his eyes traveling to the small sliver of bare skin, then over her curves. He didn’t look away even when she turned around and she felt a sudden pang of guilt. 

“That’s actually…. quite thoughtful of you,” she said softly. 

His casual smirk widened into a smile. “I do have my moments, you know.” 

“You’re different since we’ve last spent any real time together,” she observed out loud. 

“How so?” 

“I don’t know. Maybe a little wiser, more mature. You’re more… mellow in your old age, I guess.” She smiled back, her eyes shining.

“I have been taking things a little slower. Trying to be less reactive. It leads to less explosions.” He winked, and she laughed. “I don’t know. I guess I need to be more in control now.” 

Plus, coming back from the dead inevitably changes you, is what he didn’t say, but she decided that maybe over the breakfast table wasn’t the best time to peel away at his many layers until he admitted out loud what she already knew from recent experience.

She nodded. “It works, this new evolution of you. I like it.” 

“As I recall, you used to like it when I lost control too.” 

She froze for a moment, her eyes widening and her mouth falling slightly open. 

“I’m sorry. I’ll stop,” he said softly. 

She raised her eyes to look at him without moving her head, gazing at him through thick eyelashes. “Did I say you had to?” 

“Oooooh, something smells good in here, sweetie!” A voice squealed from the hallway. 

She looked up, her smile frozen on her face as Jan breezed through the open doorframe to join them, wrapping her arms around Tony’s waist from behind and squeezing him tight. 

“It’s actually Nat,” Tony said casually. “She’s making breakfast this morning.” 

He gently disengaged her arms from his body with a light push of his palms against her wrists, but she didn’t seem to notice. 

“Well, if you’re this good of a cook, maybe you should stick around,” Jan said, nudging Natasha playfully as she piled some pancakes and fruit on a plate. “How are you feeling this morning, dear?” 

“Just fine,” Natasha said, taking a seat at the wooden table. 

“Mmmm… exquisite,” Jan said, closing her eyes as she savored a bite of the pancakes. She turned to Tony. “What’s on the agenda for today?” 

He shrugged. “I actually have to head over to Stark Resilient today. Got a few meetings scheduled, but hopefully it won’t take too long.” 

Jan nodded absently while she poured three glasses of orange juice. “Well, I’ll be working in the lab from here today, so you can just let me know if you need anything, Nat.” 

Natasha gave her what she hoped was a grateful smile. “Thanks, but I just figured I’d get downstairs to the gym today. Don’t want to get too soft.” 

“Okay… maybe I can take both my girls out to lunch later,” Tony said, his eyes on Natasha. 

Jan agreed excitedly, but Natasha didn’t say anything. 

“Great. Then it’s settled. I’ll pick you both up around one.” 

XXXXX

She was getting dressed after her post workout shower when one of Tony’s many A.I. s (H.E.L.E.N., was it?) let her know that she had a visitor. 

She glanced at her phone, frowning when she didn’t find a text from James or Matt and wondering who else on earth could possibly know that she was staying here as she made her way downstairs. 

She didn’t have to go too far, as a tall, muscular frame was waiting for her in the common area. 

“Nat,” he breathed as if drinking her in. 

“Clint,” she said with a genuine smile as he enveloped her in a hug. Maybe it was the current environment or her current circumstances that had her feeling more than a little nostalgic, but part of her was glad when he didn’t pull away right away, and she let him embrace her for another few seconds. 

“You look great,” he said, a slight sound of relief hidden in his tone. 

“Thanks, but don’t I always?” She teased to lighten him up. This was the part of letting her friends in on a mission that was too close to her personal life that she was always wary about, and she didn’t really feel like having her old teammates look at her as if she was something that needed to have an eye kept on her. And this particular teammate should know better. 

“Hell yeah,” he said, running a hand briefly through his close cut blonde hair in an unconscious gesture that she knew well. 

He was nervous, she calculated, swallowing slowly as she studied him. “This is a long way from Brooklyn,” she said cautiously. “What brings you here?” 

“I, uh, just wanted to check in on you,” he mumbled quickly, getting the obvious out of the way as he gestured with his hands to her. 

“Well, I’m fine, as you can see,” she said. 

He nodded. “No more bandage,” he said, his eyes traveling to the sliver of bare skin between her crop top and jeans. 

She followed his gaze to where the wound would’ve been, now without so much as a scar. “Perks of super human healing,” she said dryly, resisting the urge to cross her arms in front of herself. 

“I, uh… I’m sorry I shot you,” he said lamely. 

“I told you to,” she reminded him, brushing him off. 

“Yeah, but still…..” 

She looked into his face, her eyes narrowing. “Clint. What’s this really about? And how did you know I was staying here?” The list of people she’d told was nonexistent, and the list of people who knew was very short. She didn’t want to be mentally going through it in her mind, crossing out connections (Not Matt. Not James. Not Tony. Jan?), but old habits died hard. 

He shrugged. “I went by your apartment first. Seemed like you hadn’t been there in a few days and I figured with Tony giving you your memories back and all…. well, we all know Tony.” 

“Mmmmmm,” she agreed. 

“Did…. Bucky come by at all?” Clint asked awkwardly. 

There he was, with his hand in his hair again. “Um… no?” She said quickly. “Why do you ask?” 

He shrugged. “I just figured….” 

“Look, Clint. Whatever you want to say, just say it.” It’s me, she added silently, hoping she wouldn’t have to say it out loud. 

He took a step closer to her, reaching for her hand. “Nat….. when I saw you die…..” 

Her expression softened and she shook her head. “Don’t,” she said, gazing at him pleadingly. 

“Okay,” he whispered, his arms going around her. 

She placed both hands on his chest, needing to put some distance between them before he got too close, but not entirely wanting him to stop either.

“I’m just…. really glad you’re back,” he said softly. 

“Me too.” 

“Nat….” 

Of course there was more. There was always more with him. 

He raised his hand from her shoulder to her face, slowly tilting her head back as he leaned his head down. 

“Clint…” she started, turning her face. “I can’t.” 

“Maybe we could just try again…” 

“No.” She gazed up at him tearfully, less prepared to have this conversation than she’d thought. But then again, this was a familiar dance too. She’d always had a soft spot for this man, and no matter how many times it had been necessary over the years, she was never prepared to be the one to make that flicker of crushing disappointment appear on his face. 

Her hands slid from his chest to his shoulders, tightly gripping his shoulders. “Clint,” she whispered. “You mean so much to me, you know you do….” 

He nodded. “You just want to be good friends. I get it.” 

She tried to smile through the lump forming in her throat. “Who else would I trust to shoot me just to make my enemy think my friends had turned against me?” 

He was thinking it over, processing the words he’d heard many times before, but if she was completely honest, a long and complicated history had shown that the situation would’ve been just as likely to go the other way. 

Just then, a voice called to her from the hallway outside the common room and they both turned around. 

“Sorry, I didn’t realize I’d be interrupting something.” 

“Bucky?” Clint asked, his tone taking on a mild note of irritation. “What are you doing here?” 

“James!” Natasha greeted, silently grateful for the interruption despite the awkwardness. Her expression brightened even further when Liho jumped from his shoulder onto hers and she nuzzled her face against her pet. 

“Bringing the cat by. Why, what are you doing here?” The other man’s question was half- accusing, his tone filled with just as much irritation. 

Clint’s eyes narrowed. “So he did get to you first.” 

Natasha’s hands went to her hips. “What do you mean ‘get to me?’” 

“Hey, pal. You snooze you lose,” Bucky said, his sense of competition getting the best of him. 

She rolled her eyes. 

Clint walked right up to Bucky, jabbing a finger into his chest and Bucky angrily swatted him away with his metal hand, his expression clearly annoyed. 

“Wait, guys!” She shouted, her eyes widening. Liho jumped to the floor and scurried away and Natasha wished she could do the same. “Come on. We’re not really doing this now, are we?” 

“He’s the one that started it by being an arrogant ass,” Clint said, giving Bucky a shove. 

“You’re the one with the inferiority complex,” Bucky retorted. 

“James!” Natasha yelled, shooting him a look. She needed one of them to back off and she could always reason more with him. 

“Typical. You think just because Tony restored her memories, she’s going to come crawling back to you. Never mind that you willingly kept stuff from her to suit your selfishness and guilt and when you knew all along what she would really want.” 

Bucky raised an eyebrow. “And I suppose you’re the expert at what she wants? That why you had to come poking around here for your own answers? Talk about selfish!” 

She groaned, trying to step between them, but each one was reaching around her to get to the other. 

“Clint, no!” She shouted.

“Nat?” She felt a shiver as something buzzed near her ear and she realized it was Jan, shrunken down to barely more than the size of an insect. 

“Let me know if you want me to intervene,” the woman said. “I’ll take Clint, you get Bucky.” 

“Really, there’s no need,” Natasha protested. “I have this under control.” 

She looked up, gritting her teeth when she found them locked together, annoyed that her friends had let their little squabble get physical. 

“Seriously, you’re both acting like cavemen,” Jan said, flying over to Clint and tugging on his shoulder. 

“Who said that?” Bucky asked, dodging a punch from Clint. 

“What the hell is going on here?” 

Everyone froze, all eyes going to Tony where he’d just walked in. 

Jan grew back to her normal size, slowly tiptoeing backwards out of the room. 

“I know I’m not seeing what I think I’m seeing,” Tony said, his voice thick with disappointment. “And I know I didn’t just crawl through a time hole and open the door to the past, so I’m sure you boys both have a really good explanation as to why you’re getting into a physical altercation in my home that doesn’t involve you fighting over a lady who is more than capable of whipping both of your asses.” 

“Don’t bother, Tony,” Clint said. “I was just leaving.” 

He walked past Tony, who was standing firmly with his arms crossed over his chest. 

Natasha watched him go. 

“I’ll just drop off the rest of your stuff in your room before I go,” Bucky muttered. 

“Could you, please?” Natasha said, her voice a little more harsh than she’d intended. 

Tony sighed once Bucky had disappeared up the stairs and they were alone. “Unbelievable. Some things will never change.” 

Natasha shook her head. “I don’t know what to say. I'm sorry, Tony.” 

His lips cracked into a smirk and his expression grew teasing. “Just tell me you didn’t choose either one of those clowns.” 

Natasha laughed, suddenly able to find the humor in the situation. "Definitely not." 

"Good. Cause if it's a boyfriend you want, you could do way better." 

"A girl could also do way worse," she said defensively. "And... I don't know what I want," she added quietly.

He moved closer to her, turning more serious and she looked up at him, trusting in whatever he was about to say. The notion surprised her a little, and she gazed carefully at the man who was her dear friend, esteemed colleague, sometimes mentor and occasional lover, trying not to dwell too hard on that last part as she searched his face more for something within herself than within him. 

“Honestly, Tasha. You should be hanging out with someone who understands you better than those boys. You need someone older, more mature.” 

“Really?” She said, arching an eyebrow to disguise the fact that her heart had just skipped a beat. “And did you have a specific someone in mind?” 

“Sweetie!” Jan called from the doorway with a pout. “All this raucous has me working up an appetite. And didn’t you promise us lunch?” 

“That’s right,” Tony said. “I said I would take both my girls out. So where would you beauties like to go?” 

“Oh,” Natasha said, shaking her head. “You both go. I’m good.” 

“Aw, come on,” Jan whined. “We said the three of us would go. Plus it’d be good for you to get out.”

“Go where?” Bucky asked, reappearing in the common room. “Hey, sorry about all the nonsense, Nat. Guess I just let him get the best of me.” 

“I have an idea!” Jan squealed. “You can bring Bucky, and we’ll all go! This way you won’t have to feel like the third wheel.”

“Go where?” Bucky repeated. 

“Nowhere,” Natasha said. 

“Out to lunch,” Jan said. “Are you hungry?” 

“I’m sure he already had other plans, Jan,” Tony said. 

Bucky looked from Jan, to Natasha, to Tony, and back to Jan. “I could eat,” he said with a grin. “Especially if Stark’s paying.” 

“Oh, this’ll be fun!” Jan said, clapping her hands. “Just like a double date.” 

Natasha groaned inwardly.


	4. Chapter 4

“So I’m thinking of leaving my apartment,” Natasha said casually as they sat around the table. 

The four couldn’t agree on a restaurant for lunch, so they’d ended up at a local diner. Natasha recalled many early mornings, late nights and everything in between spent here with various assemblies of team mates throughout the years. 

Tony was sitting quietly on the bench next to Jan, who looked more bored than anyone else, especially considering this was her idea. Natasha and Bucky were seated on the stand alone chairs across from them. Bucky had barely looked up from his food and Natasha had idly started the conversation more out of a want to break the slightly uncomfortable silence than a real need to share something with her friends. 

“Cool. Let me know if you need help moving your stuff,” Bucky said in between mouthfuls of pancakes. 

She stirred her straw in her iced tea, fully aware that Tony’s eyes were trained carefully on her. 

“But you love your apartment,” he said. “Why would you want to move?” 

She shrugged. “I don’t know. I was thinking it’s time for a change. Maybe a bigger place, where Liho would have more room to run around.” 

“Change is good,” Jan was saying with a nod while Tony gazed at her with a frown on his face as he pondered Natasha’s noncommittal words. She clapped her hands suddenly. “Ooooh, we could get the whole team together, have a house-warming party at your new place once you’re all settled!” 

Natasha cringed inwardly at the thought, but she didn’t say anything. James must have read her mind though, because he glanced at her sideways with a half smile and nudged her playfully. 

“Are you going to finish your fries?” He asked. 

She shook her head. “Help yourself,” she said, sliding the plate over to him. She smiled back, grateful to him for causing a distraction and to have some place to look other than Tony’s probing gaze. 

“I see nothing has changed as far as your appetite is concerned,” she said teasingly. 

“Cute,” Jan said out loud. She looked at Tony. “Don’t you think they make a cute couple?” 

“Adorable,” he said flatly. 

Jan grinned. “It’s nice to see you two getting along again. Kind of just like old times with you working together, too.” 

“You know, you could just stay at the mansion until you figure it all out,” Tony said, his eyes still on her. 

Jan looked from Tony to Natasha and back again, chewing her meal slowly.

Natasha was glad when the waiter brought their check. 

“Well, this was pleasant,” Bucky said with only a slight hint of sarcasm in his voice. “Thanks, Stark.” 

“Yes, thank you, Tony,” Natasha added. 

“My pleasure,” he said softly. He held the door open for all of them and suddenly Natasha felt a little panicked as she realized that she did not want to go straight back to the mansion with Jan and Tony. 

She looked up at Bucky, as if an excuse would magically be written somewhere on his face. 

“I guess I’ll catch up with you guys later,” she started, just as Jan squealed. 

“Hey, look the fair’s in town!” the shorter woman was practically jumping up and down. “We should totally go!” 

“I really don’t think Nat and Bucky would want to go to a carnival…..” Tony was saying. 

“Why not?” James said quickly to Natasha’s surprise. She raised a quizzical eyebrow at him and he winked. 

Natasha turned back to Tony, spotting her chance. “It could be fun,” she said. 

“Yeah, don’t be a spoil sport,” Jan added with a pout. 

“I should get back to work,” Tony protested, now only half-heartedly. 

“Please, sweetie?” Jan asked with large round eyes. 

“Maybe we could walk around once,” he finally conceded. 

Natasha shook her head as Jan smiled satisfactorily, taking him by the hand and leading the group through the entrance. She knew Tony’s tastes in women varied from time to time, but she would never understand how these two Avengers lasted in a relationship. It must have been the science thing.

The carnival was buzzing with attendees, enough that the four could pass through inconspicuously, but not so much so that it was over-crowded. Families enjoyed sugary food at a nearby set of picnic tables under a makeshift tent, teenagers loudly played games and couples walked by hand in hand. 

The smell of gasoline lingered in the air as they walked past the motor powered rides and a band was playing on a temporary stage. 

“Let’s go see if these guys are any good,” Tony said, his demeanor brightening slightly. Jan was shaking her head, pointing to a booth where some people were squirting water at a target until a balloon popped. 

Natasha turned around to find that Bucky had stepped away to wait on a short line at a food tent, returning seconds later with a large puff of cotton candy. 

“Come on,” he said, nodding over to where Jan and Tony were playing a game and the billionaire was laughing in spite of himself. “I’ll win you a teddy bear.” 

“Um, the plan was sort of to break away without having to explain myself,” Natasha said bluntly. 

“Fine. You can do whatever you want. After I win you a teddy bear.” 

He motioned to Tony and Jan. “Hey, Stark!” he called in a challenge. 

Natasha rolled her eyes. 

“You remember the last time we were at a carnival?” He asked idly as they walked over to their friends. 

“When we were undercover for S.H.I.E.L.D.?” She said. “Yeah. We made out behind the bumper cars until those thugs showed up.” She nudged him lightly in the ribs. “That’s not going to happen this time.” 

“Barnes,” Tony said, placing some bills on the counter. “Pick your arena.” 

Bucky nodded over to the corner, where the attendant was arranging milk bottles into a pyramid. “You first, man.” 

The attendant handed him a stack of beanbags and explained that he would have three tries. 

Tony winded up and launched the beanbags, aiming the first one at the bottom of the pyramid, where only one bottle tipped over. The second one took the whole top of the pyramid out, and the third landed perfectly in the middle of the structure, obliterating all but two bottles. 

“Close,” the attendant said, clearly bored. 

“Whatever. No one wins these things anyway,” Tony muttered. 

The kid rearranged the bottles and handed the beanbags to Bucky, who tipped his baseball cap before grasping the first one in his left hand, pulling his arm all the way back.  
All the bottles smashed to the floor on his first try and the attendant rang the bell before handing him his prize. 

“He has an unfair advantage,” Tony pointed out. 

Bucky held the stuffed bear in front of Natasha, lightly tapping her nose with its head before handing it to her and she laughed. 

“So sweet.” Jan said with a dramatic sigh. “You two really are adorable.” 

“Now can we go listen to the music?” Tony asked. 

“Let’s go ride the ferris wheel,” Natasha said, giving Bucky a meaningful look. 

“Uh, yeah. Let’s do that,” he agreed. 

“Ok. We’ll meet up with you guys in bit,” Jan said, giving them a little wave as she followed Tony to the stage. “Isn’t that nice? They want some alone time,” she was saying. “They are just too cute.”

Tony looked mildly irritated. “They’re not even dating.” 

It was harder to hear them among the noise of the carnival the further away they got, but Jan’s voice carried as she said, “Yeah. Like Nat’s going to remember what it’s like to be with a guy like that and not want to get back with him….” 

Bucky coughed uncomfortably. “So…. ferris wheel? Or do you want to just ditch them?” 

“Ditch them, of course,” Natasha said. “But ferris wheel first.” 

He gave her a lopsided grin as he pushed his hands into his pockets and she linked her arm through his elbow as they headed for the ride, recalling a time when that grin had sent her heart racing.

She saw out of the corner of her eye that Bucky had handed the ride operator more than enough bills to keep them on the ride for awhile. 

He waited for her to get settled in the car first before he joined her, casually letting his left arm drape across the back of the seat behind her without actually touching her as they were lifted backwards, then up and over. “I’d say this is scary, but I know they’re put together much more safely than they used to be,” he said. 

“Still afraid of heights?” She asked as she set the stuffed bear down in her lap, her gaze catching on Tony and Jan dancing in front of the stage on the other side of the fair despite the fact that it had suddenly grown darker. 

“I’m not afraid of heights,” he said defensively. 

“You are.” 

They were silent for one full turn of the ferris wheel before he asked quietly, “So… is this a good time to talk?” 

She sighed. “As good as any, I suppose.” 

“What are you thinking?” He looked at her carefully, his face illuminated in the lights from the ferris wheel.

"I can’t lie and say that what you did when you told S.H.I.E.L.D. to stop working on my memory doesn’t hurt me,” she said quietly. “But I do understand why you did it, and I honestly think I maybe would’ve made the same choice had the roles been reversed.” 

He nodded. “That’s fair.” 

“I’ve enjoyed working closely with you these past few weeks, James.” 

“Me too,” he said, the relief evident in his tone. “We’re cut from the same mold, you and me.” 

“But I can’t just go back,” she added gently. “I remember what it’s like to be in love with you. I do. But I can’t go back.” 

“Then us being friends will just have to do,” Bucky said softly. 

She smiled gratefully.

“I want you in my life, Nat.That’s never going to change.” 

The ride paused as they were coming up for a third turn and she looked down, spotting Jan pulling Tony by the hand in another direction just as they were climbing higher again.

”You know, if that’s what you want, I’m pretty sure you can have it.” 

The ride jerked to a stop and she looked up at him, her eyes wide as she struggled to find an appropriate response to what he had just suggested, and that’s when she saw it.

Doombots, several of them were on the ground surrounding Tony and Jan. 

She looked over the edge of the door, realizing that they were stopped at the top of the ferris wheel. The car swayed back and forth, but the ride gave no sign of moving. 

Tony had called his Iron Man armor, and Jan’s wings were sprouting out of her back as she motioned for the many civilians to clear the area. 

Natasha could hear screams coming from the cars below them and she looked to Bucky, who nodded decisively. 

“Stay here!” He shouted to their fellow ride patrons. “You might be safer here.” 

She stood up on the bench of the car, gazing at the ground below and gulping slightly before gripping the safety bar above the latch to the gate, leaping head over feet and tumbling into the air to control her momentum and she landed in a hard crouch, her boots absorbing most of the impact. 

Bucky’s metal arm clanged as he clambered down a little less gracefully than she had and they were off to join their outnumbered friends. 

“Took you long enough,” Iron Man said sarcastically as he fired a couple of blasts from his hands. 

Natasha and Bucky settled into a familiar routine of hand to hand combat while Jan flew around the outside of the circle they’d drawn the Doombots into, ushering the last of the civilians to safety. 

“Tony!” Natasha shouted to get his attention. Iron Man’s glowing eyes fixed on her and she threw the bear into the air. 

Without missing a beat, he sent a repulsor beam shooting out of his palm, electrifying the stuffed toy and she jumped into the air, placing a well aimed kick and sending the fireball into a robot. 

The explosion was enough the scramble the signals and Bucky was crushing the arms of the last of the bots as Jan and Natasha bounded over. 

“I think that’s it,” Tony said, tugging on the wires inside an open panel on the back of one of the Doombots. 

“What are you doing?” Natasha asked.

“Sending a little message to Viktor,” he said with a grin.

“Isn’t that more Parker’s style?” 

He shrugged. “This oughta team him a lesson about messing with Tony Stark while he’s out with his friends.” 

Natasha and Jan laughed and she looked briefly at each of her teammates while she caught her breath. This was a familiar routine that she would never tire of. This was normal, easy. She could do this. 

Tony’s sparkling eyes landed on hers, his pupils still dilated from the fight. He winked at her, his wide billion dollar smile showing his dimples. It was enough to send her heart racing.


	5. Chapter 5

Natasha adjusted her leotard, tied on a skirt and pulled her hair back into a loose bun before heading down the wide staircase. It had been a long time since she’d laced up the ballet shoes that were now stuffed into her gym bag, tapping her on the back from where the strap hung low on her shoulder with each purposeful step.

She had to walk past Tony’s workshop to get to the gym, not the full one where the Avengers spent much of their training hours, the small modest one where Tony had installed a barre all those years ago when Clint had first brought her to the mansion… 

It wasn’t that it was unusual to find the lights on in his lab at this hour. It was more that there was no sounds coming from behind the glass door that first caught her attention and she doubled back, peering in cautiously more out of an old habit than an actual need to find out what her friend was up to.

He was sitting on a stool, slumped over the slab of counter space in the center of the room, unmoving, shoulders hunched and head bowed low. 

Her heart skipped a beat and a cold, icy feeling spread throughout her stomach as she set her bag down on the floor before putting her security code in the console outside. 

“Tony?” She asked softly as she stepped into his space. 

His head snapped up, blue eyes wide with something akin to panic on his face, if she thought that he was a man capable of feeling panic at all. 

“Hey. Are you okay?” Her brows furrowed in concern as she regarded her friend, who she’d clearly caught off guard.

He didn’t answer as he shifted his position and her eyes swept over the table. “What are you working on?” she tried again. 

Then her eyes widened to mirror his panic and she gasped out loud, her hand flying up to cover her mouth when she saw it. 

A half empty bottle of top shelf whiskey sat intrusively on the counter before him, within an arm’s length of his grasp. 

“Who… who brought that here?” She asked, her shock turning to anger as she mentally wondered who on the team would even think of it. 

“I did,” he said simply, his voice tinged with a darkness she hadn’t heard in a long time. 

“Oh.” She took a step closer, then another and another, moving slowly and carefully. “That’s…. that’s okay, Tony. We’ll figure this out.” 

He put his head in his hands, closing his eyes. 

“Where’s Janet?” 

“Not here.” 

“Okay.” She reached her hand out, placing it cautiously on his shoulder and then letting it slide into his hair when he didn’t pull away. “Who else knows?” 

He shook his head. “No one.” 

“Okay,” she said again.

“I was going to get rid of it. I started pouring it down the drain.” 

“You were? So you didn’t just take a drink from it then,” she said, more in a sense of relief than a question. 

He turned his head to look at her. “Not now. But I did.” 

She nodded. “When?” 

“A month ago.” 

She pressed her lips together, thinking this over. “Why are you keeping it?” 

“As a reminder,” he said, his voice thick with regret. 

“You’re taunting yourself,” she realized. “Give it to me.” 

She reached across the table, but his hand shot out and closed over her wrist. “No.” 

“Tony… it’s okay.” 

“It’s not. It’s not,” he said. 

“Are you going to do it again?” 

He shook his head. 

“Then it’s okay,” she whispered. 

“No.” He looked up at her, his face filled with an expression of dejection that she knew all too well. “How can you say that?” 

She shrugged, letting her hand sift through the thick dark curls at the back of his head. “You made a mistake. You’re only human, after all,” she said, leaning her head close to his and placing a soft kiss on his temple. 

“Being brought back from the dead doesn’t change that,” she added. “Trust me, I know.”

He offered her a half smile at that and she let her hand trail away, holding it out in front of him. “Give me the bottle, Tony. Before I take it from you.” 

“As much as I would love to see you make good on that challenge….” He moved to pick up the bottle, then thought better of it as he gestured his consent. 

She pulled it from its perch on the counter and whirled around swiftly, gliding across the workspace to the sink in the corner and draining the bottle of its contents before cracking it against the wall and sweeping up the broken pieces. 

“You know, there are other ways to work out your frustration and self-loathing,” she said, turning back to face him with a smile. 

XXXXX

She stretched her leg over the barre, touching her nose to her knee and holding the position for a moment before turning to face him. 

“How is it that you always get me to dance with you, no matter the circumstances?” 

She grinned. “I don’t know. I guess I’m just… persuasive.” 

“I remember. But this isn’t exactly what I had in mind, you know.” 

“I know.” She set her playlist to a soothing piano medley. “Just trust me.” 

She took in his form, carefully nudging his legs apart with her foot and pressing her hands along his shoulders and back to correct his posture. 

“And keep in mind I can’t do it on my toes like you can.” 

“Whatever you’re comfortable with,” she promised, sliding the ankle of her right foot in front of her left toe as she took her place in front of him. “Just feel my movements, and let them guide you.” 

He obliged, holding onto her hips and keeping his head down to study her leg work as he caught his bearings. 

“Eyes up,” she said, firmly but quietly as she stepped into his space. “Just feel my body.” 

“Feel your… your body,” he repeated, his torso pressed to hers. 

She guided him in a simple routine and it didn’t take long for him to match his movements to hers until they were moving as one unit. 

He carefully gripped her waist, lifting her into the air and executing a near perfect turn before setting her back down again and she took off into a series of flawless steps, holding his hand to take him with her and soon they were gliding across the wood floor. 

She pirhouetted back to him and he caught her, once again pressing their bodies together until she could feel his muscles flex with every shift in position and his heat radiating through the thin fabric of his undershirt and her leotard as she moved against him. 

She wondered briefly if she’d ever danced this intimately with someone before, but she already knew the answer and it made her breath shallow and her stomach quiver. 

She turned in his arms until her back was pressed to his front, their hands still clasped together and he raised their arms, hooking hers behind his head and she grasped the back of his neck, feeling his muscles tighten. 

He took her waist with one hand, the other trailed down the arm that was still draped around him and she arched her back, deliberately giving him a clear view down the front of her leotard, which she had no doubt that he took advantage of. 

His fingers continued their downward trail, tracing the curve of her side until his hand settled on her hip and he turned her around to face him. 

“Eyes up, right?” he murmured, his voice a little husky. 

“Right,” she whispered, swallowing thickly as she kept her gaze on his. 

They continued to move against each other and her breath hitched when she felt one of his thighs slide between hers. 

He leaned his head down and she could feel his breath on her face and she held him closer, close enough to feel that he wasn’t entirely unaffected by their movements. 

Her eyes closed and her lips parted and then his hand was sliding along her jaw, tilting her head back as he pressed his forehead against hers and she knew there was a reason why she should move out of his grasp, but she couldn’t think about anything other than the familiarity of this routine and his intoxicating scent that was something like motor oil, expensive cologne, and sweat all invading her senses at once. 

This was a familiar dance too, the back and forth and give and take until it became a question of who was seducing who. It wouldn’t have been the first time that they’d crossed blurry boundaries, and it likely wouldn’t be the last, either. 

“You were right,” Tony said, the sound of his smooth voice jarring her back to reality. “This is a much better way to lose yourself.” 

She nodded. “Maybe we should take a little break, though. Yeah?” 

“Yeah,” he agreed. “But is there something you want to tell me first?” 

She shook her head. 

“Why not?” He asked, his eyes still wide with a vulnerability she hadn’t noticed before. 

“Because I do remember that first dance, Tony,” she whispered. “And all the other ones after.”


	6. Chapter 6

“What are you doing home alone on a Friday night?” 

She looked up from where she was sitting on the couch with her legs tucked up under her and a book in her lap. “I suppose I could ask you the same thing, Stark.” 

He entered the room and she slid over, patting the space next to her. “I was serious. I thought Barnes would be jumping in his Kevlar at the chance to take you out.” 

She frowned. “I’m not going out with Bucky.” 

“You’re not?” 

“No. We were just working together to figure out the Anya stuff. And he was helping me with another… project. But there’s nothing romantic between us anymore.” She closed her book and placed it on the coffee table, pushing her hair behind her ear in an uncharacteristically self-conscious gesture. 

He sat down in the space she’d offered, turning to her with genuine interest. “Well, that’s alright. Feelings can change, after all.” 

“Tell me about it.” 

“How about Clint? I thought for sure he would’ve been around here at least fifty dozen times.” 

She shook her head. “He’s not speaking to me.” 

Tony sighed. “Whatever it is, he’ll get over it.” 

“I don’t know this time. He was mad to begin with that I was working with James behind his back and now that I told him it’s over between us…..” She chewed on her bottom lip. “Am I a horrible person to the men in my life?” 

“No way. Clint is just being Clint. Give him a few days, he’ll come around.” 

“I think I really hurt his feelings this time.” She looked up at him, finding a tenderness in his gaze that she hadn’t noticed before. “During the war with Hydra, before…. everything…. I sort of kissed him. He might’ve had the impression that we were getting back together and then….” 

“You died and were brought back and everything’s different and you haven’t taken a second to stop since?” He said, his tone not unkind. 

She grimaced. “Still don’t think I’m a horrible person?” 

“Nat, if kissing your ex was a crime, I’d be locked up with a lifetime sentence by now.” 

The corner of her mouth tugged up slightly. 

“Not that I don’t think you’re an easy person to get over. But honestly, I stopped trying to understand the saga of Barton and Romanova a decade ago.” 

“Well, I don’t think I’ll ever understand it. So if you do happen to figure it out one day, you let me know,” she said. 

“There’s not going to be any blind superheroes knocking on my door next, is there?” 

“Nooooo. Matt did offer a place to stay for a bit, but he prefers to keep the least amount of drama possible around. That doesn’t exactly mean me these days.”

Tony’s brow furrowed. “Why would you stay with him a tiny apartment on the edge of the noisy city when you could stay here, in your old room with everything you need?” 

“I didn’t say I would, but I kind of like this doting, overprotective streak you’ve had going lately,” she said, nudging her knee playfully into his thigh. “So you didn’t answer the question. What are you doing home tonight? Did Janet run out of fancy places to usher you off to?” 

He sat back against the couch cushions, regarding her with a frown. “Jan and I broke up.” 

“You did?” She asked, her voice rising an octave and her eyes widening in surprise. “When?” 

“Last week at the fair.” 

“Oh.”

“You really didn’t know?” 

“No. It’s not like there was some big announcement, and we sort of all had our hands full that day.” 

He gazed at her thoughtfully with a smirk on his face. “So let me get this straight. You thought Jan and I were still together, even the other night in the studio when you almost let me…?” 

“Let you what, Tony?” She asked, with a warning in her tone. 

He shook his head. 

She reached out to pat his shoulder. “I’m sorry, Tony.” 

“It’s alright. Just wasn’t working out, that’s all.” 

“I mean, I feel bad about the break up, but I can’t say I’m surprised.” 

He raised an eyebrow at her bluntness. “Oh really?” 

Natasha shrugged. “She didn’t seem to really…. get you.” 

“I suppose that’s fair,” he said with a nod. “So I guess my Friday nights will be a little boring for a while. I’ll head down to my lab. You holler if you need anything.” 

“Or…” she said, pausing him as he was about to get up. “You could just hang out here with me tonight.” 

“A little Tony/Nat time?” He said, pretending to think it over for a minute. “Yeah, I could go for that.” 

“Good.” She reached for the remote on the coffee table. “Movie?” 

“Sure.” 

“Can I make you a drink?” 

“As long as it’s unsweetened iced tea with four ice cubes and a lime, but I like the subtlety.” 

She smiled a little sheepishly. “Can we talk about the alcohol thing?” 

He took a deep breath, exhaling loudly. “If we have to.” 

“Tony,” she said more gently, looking into his eyes. “Are you drinking again?” 

“No,” he said firmly, meeting her gaze. “It was exactly what I told you. I succumbed to a moment of weakness, and it was a mistake. A mistake that cost me fifteen years of sobriety. I’ve regretted it ever since.” 

“And you hate yourself for it,” she said quietly. 

“You know me so well.” 

“I do.” She scooted closer to him. “But honey, even Iron Man is only human sometimes.” 

He nodded. “I’m not going to do it again.” 

“I believe you. Just know that I would burn every last drop of alcohol on this planet and set the entire world on fire if it meant sparing you from a relapse.” 

“I don’t doubt it.” He smiled, sliding his hand across the half a couch cushion in between them. “And I really appreciate that.” 

“Tony,” she said, placing her hand in his. “You’ve spent every waking moment since your resurrection taking care of everyone else. Who’s taking care of you?” 

He swallowed thickly, gazing down at their conjoined hands. 

“I hope that this calmer, more mature version of you thinks to take time for himself. And that you get comfortable with asking your friends for help when you need it.” 

“Didn’t I say those words to you a few weeks ago?” 

She grinned. “Well, wise words deserve repeating, don’t they?” She leaned her head against the back of the couch. 

“Can I ask you about something, Tasha?” 

She nodded. 

“Were you serious about getting out of your apartment?” 

“Yeah.” 

“I hope this isn’t some kind of rash, post-traumatic decision,” he said with a frown. 

“No. It’s not that. I’ve actually thought a lot about it.” She reached into the pocket of her jeans, pulling out her cell phone and thumbing through the camera roll before handing it to him. 

He leaned forward, scrolling through the photos she’d indicated silently. 

“You didn’t just give me my memories back, you know. You gave me something that I didn’t even realize was missing. I don’t know I guess… maybe this whole life on the run thing isn’t working for me anymore,” she said, watching him carefully. 

He looked up at her, his expression soft and attentive. 

“So I was thinking of upgrading to a townhouse, maybe putting down some semi-permanent roots. I found this place by the water.” 

“It’s you,” he said, handing the phone back to her with a soft smile. 

“It even has a balcony.” 

He smiled back, his eyes shining. “Would it be too corny to say I’m proud of you?” 

“Yes,” she said, jabbing him in the ribs. 

“How about I’m glad you’re staying close to the city?” 

“Oh, you know I could never totally abandon the Avengers.” 

“I meant that I’m glad you’re staying close to here. I just got you back. Wasn’t too keen on losing you again.” 

She looked up at him. “I just got you back too, you know.” 

He sat back. “So, movie, right? Any preferences?” 

“As dumb and lighthearted as possible,” she said seriously.

“Agreed,” he said with a chuckle. 

He found a movie that matched her requirements and they watched the opening credits in silence. She wondered for a moment if it had ever been this comfortable between them.   
She was no stranger to spending time alone with him and of course they’d just hung out before, but somewhere things had shifted and she became comfortable talking to him about personal things that she would normally keep to herself without being able to pinpoint when it had happened. And for that matter, she’d even become comfortable shouldering his personal things. 

She watched the way the light from the television illuminated his face, deciding she liked this new honesty and vulnerability combined with the usual camaraderie and fondness between them. This dance was familiar, even though it had some slightly unfamiliar elements, but she thought she’d be okay figuring out the steps. 

After awhile she settled back into the couch cushions, giving in to the impulse to lean her head on his shoulder. 

He turned his head down when he felt her weight against him and she felt his muscles tighten as he started to move and for a second she thought maybe he’d scoot over to put a little distance between them and that would’ve been fine with her too, but instead he draped his arm around her, drawing her closer. 

“Comfy?” He asked, slouching a little lower. 

“Mmmm-hmmm,” she murmured, settling in against him, relaxing into the softness of his t-shirt and the warmth of his body. “You?” 

"Absolutely,” he agreed, putting his other arm around her and wrapping her up in his chest. 

She rested her arm across his stomach, burrowing into him. 

He was idly playing with the ends of her hair and she found herself paying more attention to the steady rhythm of his breathing and the feel of his cotton shirt against her face than the movie they’d been watching. 

She was so comfortable that she thought if she closed her eyes for even a second, she might actually fall asleep. 

Then she felt a sudden weight on the back of the couch and he pulled away abruptly as Liho jumped down onto the cushions next to him. 

"What the hell is that?” He asked, putting a hand to his chest. 

“It’s a cat, Tony,” she said wryly as Liho proceeded to smell his hand. 

“I know it’s a cat,” he retorted. “What’s it doing in my house?” 

“That’s Liho,” Natasha corrected. “She’s mine. Or I’m hers, I haven’t really quite figured that one out yet. And you said I should make myself at home.” 

She reached across him to scratch under Liho’s chin. “It’s okay, you can pet her. She won’t bite.” 

“Aren’t black cats supposed to be bad luck or something?” He said, wrinkling his nose as Liho hopped into his lap and stretched her face up to his to continue her exploration of him. 

“That’s black widows,” she replied. “And you let me stick around. I guess I can keep her in my room if you really have a problem with it.” 

“No… it’s no problem,” he protested. “I just wasn’t expecting another guest. When did you get a cat?” 

“You don’t know everything about me, Tony Stark,” she said teasingly as Liho stepped off his legs and onto the couch next to him, curling up beside him. “Look, she likes you.” 

He started to pet her with stiff motions, but Natasha’s mouth tugged into a smile when she saw the twinkle in his eyes as he warmed up to her. “You’re a good girl, aren’t you? You’re no trouble at all.” 

Her smile widened. “Wow. She doesn’t usually get this close to strangers. You must be special.” 

He grinned back as Liho purred, her tail whipping back and forth against his arm. 

“Hey, I was here first,” Natasha said, leaning her head back on his shoulder. “Is this spot still available?” 

“Of course,” he said, putting his arm around her again. “And you’re in luck. The spot on my lap has just been vacated too.” 

She swatted his stomach before settling in against him and he eagerly held her close. 

“Where were we?” He murmured, sinking lower to put her against his chest again. 

"Beat it, sister,” she said to Liho, lovingly stroking her whiskers. The cat stood up, stretching out and yawning deeply before jumping to the floor and scampering away.

She cuddled up to him as he wrapped both his arms around her, let him hold her close and slide his fingers through her hair. 

“Better?” he asked. 

“Mmmmm,” she agreed.

He moved his hand from running through her hair to slowly rubbing her back and she sighed softly, enjoying the soothing motions. 

At some point, his fingers began gently caressing her bare arm and she thought she might melt right into him as the soft tingling sensation spread throughout her body. 

Then he carefully brushed her hair aside, his hand traveling up her arm to rest on her shoulder, his thumb softly stroking her neck and she shifted against him.

“Mmmm, you know what that does to me,” she murmured. 

“I’m well aware,” he said quietly, leaning his head down and letting his cheek brush against her forehead. “Should I stop?” 

“Did I say you had to?” she asked, tilting her head back to look up at him. 

He slowly ran his thumb along her jaw, his hand cupping her face and then he closed the short distance between them, kissing her softly. 

She leaned into his kiss, her hand resting against his chest, and closed her eyes as she kissed him back. 

Another familiar dance, the eager press of his lips against hers, the slide of his tongue against hers and she opened her mouth as she let him intensify the kiss even further. 

“Tony,” she breathed. 

“Baby,” he murmured, his hand slipping up the hem of her shirt as they kissed and slowly sliding over the flat of her stomach. “You’re so soft.” 

“Soft as in I’m letting myself get out of shape soft?” 

“Hell no,” he said, drawing her in for another kiss and inching his hand higher. “Soft as in, God I just want to feel you everywhere.” 

She moved her hands into his hair, just as soft and thick as she remembered and she lightly scraped her nails across his scalp as their kisses escalated. 

“You know what that does to me,” he murmured against her lips, his eyes still closed. 

“I know,” she whispered, tugging more deliberately on his hair. 

He grinned, lowering his mouth to kiss her neck and she moaned softly. 

His hands were still caressing the skin beneath her shirt and she squirmed against him. He still knew how to drive her crazy. 

She let him nibble the length of her neck a little longer before she took his face in her hands, tilting his head back just enough so she could kiss him more thoroughly and she felt, more than heard his groan. She sucked his earlobe into her mouth, confident that she still knew how to drive him crazy too. 

This story was familiar, and she knew how it would play out. She would let him get her into bed and he would sweet talk her after. Neither one of them would have any regrets. She could probably even get him to help her move. They’d figure out eventually why Doom had sent his bots to the carnival and he’d convince her to fight with the Avengers once more. She wasn’t sure how long the kissing and tenderness would last, or even if she wanted it past this one night. For now, the only thing she was sure of was that she just wanted to hold onto him for as long as she could. 

So she wrapped her arms around his frame, held him close, and kissed him with a passion that had been boiling inside her since she’d woken up in his lab, feeling whole for the first time since she’d been woken up. 

“Nat,” he said, lowering her into the couch cushions until he was half on top of her. 

She sighed as his body pressed against hers, his hands getting a little more frisky.

“Still comfortable?” he asked, adjusting his weight so his torso was resting in between her legs. 

“Mmmmm,” she moaned as his fingers gently brushed her hair back. 

She pulled his face down to hers and then they were kissing passionately, his body moving against hers and she squeezed her thighs around his hips, craving more friction between them. 

He pushed her shirt up, uncovering more bare skin. “Is this okay?” he whispered, hands stroking her ribs, his lips close to her ear, beard tickling her neck. 

“Tony,” she said huskily. “You have about thirty seconds to get me upstairs and completely undressed before I change my mind.”


	7. Chapter 7

They stumbled down the hall to his room, her legs wrapped firmly around his waist, his mouth pressed firmly to her neck. 

She tugged at his hair encouragingly while he quickly discarded her clothing, carefully depositing her on his bed as he pulled her jeans down. 

“Twenty-eight seconds, not bad,” she murmured in a low voice as she nipped at his ear, reaching down to undo his belt buckle and unzip his jeans. 

She knew what to say to get him going, knew he’d want to hear her soft sounds of appreciation as he kneaded her breasts, knew how feather light to run her hands down his chest and stomach to get him squirming and how rough to rub over the bulge in his pants. 

She knew he’d comment on her readiness as he shoved his hand between her thighs, “Fuck, Nat. You’re so wet,” knew how loud to moan to stroke his ego as fast as she was stroking his erect penis. “Ooooh, Tony, that feels good.” She knew he could make her come at least twice with just his fingers, and knew precisely how and when to turn her wrist to make him twitch. 

Their kisses were getting harder, more desperate and the passionate clumsiness made it even hotter. 

His hands were roaming her body with a strong possessiveness she’d only ever let him have in rare moments of unguardedness and her hand was wrapped around him, sliding up and down his length with all the skill of her intimate knowledge of how to pleasure him. 

“Wait… “ he whispered breathlessly in between heated kisses. “This is going to be over really fast if you don’t stop.” 

She froze, surprised that she’d let herself get so lost in pleasuring him that she hadn’t even realized she’d brought him this close this quickly. “I… I want you inside me,” she heard herself say. 

She would’ve expected her voice to sound strange to her own ears, as if the old her was saying things she would’ve never said out loud from inside her new body. But somehow the voice that was whispering these things in the heat of the moment was the same one she’d been using all along, the hands that were clutching him belonged to her, the skin that was pressed against his felt comfortable enough to keep touching him and letting him touch her. 

“I want you inside me,” she said again, looking into his round blue eyes and running her fingers along his face and down his jaw. 

A past, cockier version of her friend and lover would’ve smirked knowingly and capitalized on the benefits part of the term friends with benefits. 

This new, vulnerable version of him that she’d been catching glimpses of over the past few weeks was panting slightly as he gazed back at her with a soft expression on his face and a tenderness in his eyes, brushed her hair gently out of her face with his hand and murmured, “Come here, sweetheart,” while he pulled her closer. 

She carefully pushed him back against the mattress, crawled over him and kissed him with soft, open mouthed kisses as she spread her legs for him. 

He slowly guided her onto him, his breathless gasp matching her own and she pressed her forehead into the crook of his neck as he moved beneath her. 

“Mmmmmm,” she moaned while she rocked against him. 

He took her face in both of his hands, looking into her eyes as he thrusted up into her, then slowly slid his hands down her body until he was holding her hips and setting a steady pace as they began to move faster. 

“Oh, baby,” he groaned. 

“Tony,” she breathed, rolling her hips and watching his mouth fall open as he leaned his head back. 

He pulled her close, his arms strong around her, and kissed her ear as he rolled them over without breaking contact, adjusting their positions so he was on top. 

Her eyes widened as he tilted her back, shifting her hips to find a deeper angle and then he was thrusting so hard that her moaning increased unconsciously. 

She slid her hands down his chest. “Faster,” she whispered. “Oh, God, that’s good.” 

He kissed her deeply and she moved her hands over his body, lightly scraping her nails down his back and gripping his behind. She heard his breath hitch as she settled her hands on his ass and she squeezed hard enough to make him shiver as she urged him on. 

“Oh, fuck,” he moaned. She made a mental note of his reaction, storing it away for later and moving her hands all over him to see what else she could learn about his body. 

His own hands were feeling their way around her, molding to her curves as he kissed her breasts and sucked on her neck. 

She wrapped her legs around his waist, gripped his shoulders and moaned deeply. “Oh, Tony,” she cried. 

“Yeah, baby,” his whispered into her ear. 

“Oh, Tony!” she screamed, clinging to him as he sent her into a trembling orgasm. 

“Tasha,” he moaned, then groaned loudly as he came a second later while her thighs were still shaking around him. 

She gasped as she tried to catch her breath, running her fingers through his sweaty hair as he ducked his head into her chest. 

“Damn, baby. It’s definitely your same body,” he said, easing off of her. “I’d ask if it was ever this good, but I know that it always was.” 

“Yeah,” she agreed, gently pushing his face away as he lightly kissed her temple. 

She stretched her body, gripped the edge of the mattress and slowly pushed herself up. 

“What are you doing?” He asked with a frown. 

“Going back to my room,” she said, a little more matter-of-factly than she’d intended. 

“Why?” 

“It’s late, and I’m sleepy.” 

“Well, then I guess it’s a good thing we’re already in bed,” he said softly, reaching for her. 

“Tony.” 

“Come on, Nat. Just stay here.” 

“I…. I can’t….” 

“You can. Lay back, and close your eyes.” 

She sighed. “It’s not that simple,” she said, sitting up. 

“I get that. Just… just don’t go.” He slipped his hand into hers. 

She swallowed thickly. 

“Or if you have to go, we can talk about this first.” 

She shook her head. 

“Trust me,” he said. “I’m sure it’s nothing I can’t handle.” 

She paused, fidgeting with the bedsheets. 

“Tasha,” he whispered. “Is there something you want to tell me?” 

“Um,” she thought for a moment before turning her head to look up at him. “I have feelings for you, and I have for awhile now?” 

He was quiet for a moment, then a smile slowly started to spread across his face until he was grinning from ear to ear, a signature Tony Stark grin and then he laughed. 

“I don’t really think this is funny,” she said, her eyes narrowing. 

“Sweetheart,” he said, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Why do you think I’ve wanted to keep you close?” 

Her eyes widened. “We’ve been through this before, Stark. And it’s never worked between us. What’s changed this time?” 

“Are you serious?” He asked, putting a hand to his goatee. “Well, for one, neither one of us is manipulating the other.” 

She nodded, and he leaned closer. 

“And we actually trust each other… right?” 

“Right,” she whispered, letting him put an arm around her. 

“And we’ve built a close friendship based on mutual respect, admiration, and love.” 

“I do love you, Tony.” 

He smiled. “I love you too, Tasha. So what do you say? Can I hold you?” 

She nodded, slowly crawling into his embrace until he was holding her close against his chest and closing her eyes as she clung to him. 

After a moment, he eased back into the mattress, reclining slowly. 

She leaned over him, pressing her lips softly against his and cuddling up to him. 

He reached out only long enough to turn off the lamp next to his bed before turning into her again. “Sleep tight, darling,” he whispered. 

She placed a hand on his chest and he put his hand over hers, squeezing it gently. 

Before long she felt him start to drift off and she closed her eyes, throwing her leg across his hips. “Don’t you dare move, Tony Stark.” 

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he murmured, kissing her bare shoulder as she smiled into his neck.


	8. Epilogue

She put a plate of cheese and crackers in the center of the coffee table, inviting her fellow Avengers to eat and sit. 

James was lounging in the corner, idly petting Liho while Sam engaged him in conversation, and even Matt had shown up. 

“Natasha, hi,” Clint said. “I don’t believe you’ve met my girlfriend. Linda, this is Nat.” 

She smiled politely at the tall, black haired beauty standing in front of her. This dance was familiar too, with Clint smugly waiting for a reaction and she was grateful when Sam and Bucky called him over to distract him. 

“So, I have a hot new girlfriend too,” a voice said behind her as a pair of strong arms enveloped her. “And I’m wondering if she’d disappear with me for a few minutes for a steamy, sexy make out session.” 

“I don’t think she would,” Natasha said with a grin, turning around in his embrace and wrapping her arms around his neck. “But you’re welcome to stay after, Stark.” 

“Mmmm… I’ll take it,” he said, kissing her lightly on the lips. 

“I can’t believe I let Jan talk me into this,” she added. 

“It’s nice seeing you two comfortable around each other again.” 

“Steve!” Natasha said, taking in the sight of her friend standing in the doorframe of her kitchen in a button down shirt and tie. “You came.” 

“I wouldn’t miss it. This is a nice place you found here.” 

Her eyes followed Tony when he stepped away to the refrigerator. 

“I wouldn’t have thought to look if it wasn’t for you and Tony helping me to feel safe again.” 

Steve stepped into the kitchen, embracing her tightly. “It’s good to have you back. Both of you,” he added as Tony returned a second later with three glasses of sparkling water. 

“To old friends and new beginnings,” He said, raising his glass. 

“To old friends and new beginnings,” Steve agreed, clinking his glass to Natasha’s and Tony’s. 

She held both her hands around her cup, gazing at Tony and Steve with a warm smile as they began a conversation about the Avengers and knowing that they’d probably be awhile. 

This was familiar and comfortable. This was easy. She could do this.

XXXXX

Her eyelids slowly fluttered open, the light from the sun dancing across her face as she awoke. 

She rolled onto her side, gazing admiringly at the dark-haired form who was still sound asleep, wrapped up in several of her plush blankets and snoring lightly. 

After a moment, she reached for the comforter that was bunched up at the foot of the bed, draping it over her naked body as she rose from the mattress. 

She tiptoed through the glass doors to the balcony overlooking the Hudson, pulling the blanket tighter around herself in the slight morning chill as she gazed out at the city on a surprisingly clear day for this time of year. 

“Hey. You feel okay?” 

She looked up at Tony over her shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, tilting her head to the side as he leaned down to kiss her neck and sighing softly as he slipped his hands in between the ends of the blanket. 

“Yeah,” she said honestly, burrowing into him. “I feel like I’m home.”


End file.
